/ Monday, February 22, 2010
Life is great with Allah. What did i do today? I think i woke up around 10 plus? I don't wuite remember. I use the PC for a while and then bath. Took my breakfast. I don't quite remember what i did in the morning. In the afternoon , i went to have my lunch at 3pm at Mr Teh Tarik alone as usual. Then head down to school for Concert Band. Nothing much really. Was planning to watch movie at night but due to some circumstances , we had to postphone the movie. Damn i really want to watch Percy Jackson. Maybe tomorrow i'll watch alone after my job interview. Oh yes please , i hope i'll get the job. Haiqal helped me today. Thanks! Don't tell anyone my secret. X)
.never back down.
11:53 PM
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/ Sunday, February 21, 2010
I had my soccer training yesterday. Let's talk what happened before i had my soccer training alright. In the morning around 10.30am , Mom , sis and me went to McDonald to have our Breakfast. After that i went to the gym with Ejan Insanity. After a while Hisyam joined us. After gym , we head down to Boon Lay Shopping centre to play DOTA. LOL! It's was fun lar. Funny things happened.
After that walk home and reach around 4plus. Then head down to the pitch for Training. It's was a short training not as long as usual. Not fun. I wasn't feeling tired at all. Then at night went to Boon lay again to eat with Haiqal and Hakim. At night , Fatin told me the secret! It was so merepek! hahaha! I was expecting something else. Alright , i got home around 8.30pm. After i clean myself , i went to my Grandparent's house just across the street.
Ther were watching the malay horror film called ' SANTAU '! My small cousins were like hugging each other and kept screaming!!!! It's so high pitch and i was like TSK! The scene wasn't even scary at all and they said it was scary. We watch with all the bright lights on somemore! Crazy sia they all. What a marshmallow la.
Hmm.. i didn't went out today. It was a boring typical day for me. It rain today! Is that good? Oh yes! I nowadays feel very weird le. I don't know what i'm feeling. So weird.
Oh yes i realised that i've fallen in love with her not because of her LOOKS but because of her IMAN! First time sey. Usually right i would fall for looks then her whatever la but she was different. She made me open up my heart. Well i don't know , i feel more in love with allah because of her. She's inspiring u know. Hmm... Whatever it is , i don't think she would have the same feeling as me towards me. She's like 2 yrs older than me and i'm so out of her league. Whatever it is , i'm leaving it all to God. He knows best :)
.never back down.
8:28 PM
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I hate morning time. I've always had nightmare the night before. It only occurs when i have problems. I hate sey.. Wake up keep being so moody but it's so weird. I don't want i want tp be happy. k la bye
.never back down.
10:58 AM
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/ Friday, February 19, 2010
There are many things in life i don't know about. I may be fooled by others without myself knowing. The world is full of secrets. Only God knows everything. Everytime i prey to god , i feel like crying but tears just won't come out from my eyes anymore. Lately i've been making myself closer to the mosque. I could see her, be with her. Astarfirllah hal azim. Ya allah tuhanku. Ampunkan dosaku. Why is it so hard to be good and so easy to be bad. I've done so many mistakes in my life. No one is perfect except for prophet Muhammad S.A.W. As time passes by, we're all getting closer to death. It's so hard to influence my friend to go to the mosque. Ya allah give me the best and only the best.
You know what, i think i'm in love or is this just another stupid crush of mine. Tsk! Is seventeen too young to have a relationship? I'm always have been fussy to find my soulmate. My mom wants me to find someone who is pious , wears the tudung and i want to find someone that have the characteristics that my moms want and also pretty. Has god sent me the right one? Well i don't know. I'm just going to keep it a secret for now. Wait till the time comes which is i don't know when.
Somehow today , i'm not really in a mood. It's raining and i'm late for class. I'm all soak in the rain. i really don't know why i'm so down today. Ya allah... i really need ur help. I'm not strong enough to stay good. :( Today when we zikir in class , somehow my heart felt like i don't know. It's like my heart is open. astarfirllah...
I feel so lonely. No one to talk to. I keep going out alone. Always Alone. I know god is with me but it's just not the same.
.never back down.
11:17 PM
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/ Thursday, February 18, 2010
I felt so tired today and yesterday. I'm not sure why but i think i keep going to the gym often. I slept like a pig today. Slept four times sey. Anyway in the afternoon, me , Satria and Amirul went down to Funan IT Mall for a job interview but when we got there, they say that it is full! WHAT THE ****!
Anyway today i didn't feel quite well. MY stomach feels abit weird. I think i'm gonna fall sick soon. Need to fight! Oh yaya! I want join a Martial Arts CCA when i get into POLY!!! YOHOOO!!!
.never back down.
9:09 PM
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/ Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Woke up early at 6.30am today for morning prayers as usual. I didn't went back to sleep. I don't really feel like sleeping again. I surfed the net. Went back to friendster to see my old photos. Damn I really look childish. As I was browsing thru the pics , flashback sparks my mind. I really miss those time. If only I could go back in time. I'm going to save my friendster photo and upload it up on facebook.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.never back down.
8:05 AM
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/ Sunday, February 14, 2010
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR AND HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! The movie Valentine's day is out today. Haven't watch but i was planning to watch. There's a few movie that is in my mind.
1. Percy Jackson amd the lightning thief
2. Valentine's Day
3. Tooth Fairy
4. 14 Blades
5. And many more to come
Alright today is Valentine's DAy. I have no dates for today. Well... Nevermind let's change the topic. Anyway my family and i went to Little India to have our Brunch. The streets were so congested. Mom bought me a watch that cost $79 which i have to take good care for 3 years! anyway i'm not use to wearing watch. Just hope it last.
Next i saw someone very familiar at mustafar centre. I was kind of wanting to achknowledge but luckily i didn't. Guessed she was right , her sister really have a common face or i'm just missing her loadz. Well i dont know. Alright stop thinking about her before i get emotional about it.
Anyway went to Granpa house after that. Watch this bollywood movie called ' Ghajini'. It was an awesome movie. Very sad too. You guys should really watch! Amir Khan and Asin Thottumkal are the hero and heroin. The heroin is pretty!
Anyway i got a plan. I'll make myself invisible to be super visible the next time ppl sees me. Only me & God understands what i'm trying to say. Anyway tomorrow i'm going to East Coast Park with Family. Hope We have FUN !!!!
.never back down.
10:44 PM
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/ Saturday, February 13, 2010
I have one word to say. "aaarrrgh " my leg is so in pain. I don't know why. I can't bloody run! I really need to go for a leg massage. Sigh! Anyway suddenly I feel so lonely. What to do. Anyway I want to wish to all my Chinese friends a happy and prosperous Chinese new year! Gong xi gong xi!
I need to control the beast.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.never back down.
7:17 PM
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/ Thursday, February 11, 2010
I'm going to be SEVENTEEN this year. Come to think of it , i'm getting older. Soon i'll reach TWENTY! This year will be my first year in poly and my last year of poly is 19. I can't wait for National Service. I want to get into the Army. Not CIVIL DEFENCE OR THE POLICE. As most of you may know , i'm more of the aggresive type of person. I need to be mentally tough and also physically strong. NS is the place.
I mean if there would really be a war, i would willingly and bravely fight my enemy with no regrets. I would rather die for my country , for my family , for my friends and for those who i love. War isn't a fun thing. Let's all hope there's no war. World peace dude! But again we have to train and prepare ourselves. Man i'm getting old.
Yes i want a driving license! Noo but i need to be 21 to take the license. damn it.
.never back down.
8:26 PM
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/ Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I had a dream of my true love the night before. In the dream , I was walking with her holding her hands strolling somewhere. We talk and laugh. I made her smile. I hug her too! I really miss her so much but what can i do. She's dead. I can't bring her back to life. No matter what she is still in my heart. She will never be erase from my mind. Whenever i'm quiet , means i'm thinking of her. I don't need her photo. I can see her through my heart. She's the sweetest GF ever but why does she have to go so soon. I truly miss her. If only i were given a second chance , i swear I will take real good care of her but all hope is lost. She's now my imagination. The only way i could see her is in my sleep. How i wish i could sleep forever just to see her and be with her. Only god knows how i feel about her. She's everything to me. I trade the heaven just for her. HEhs sounds dumb but this is what she meant to me. She's my heaven. I just wish i could touch her. If only ...
In Loving Memory
D.A.R
3rd March 2009 - 8th May 2009
I will love her forever
She will stay in me forever
Goodbye my Lover
P.S I LOVE YOU
.never back down.
7:35 PM
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/ Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Today is Lonely Tuesday for me! Hahaha! Anyway i went to sent my grandpa to NUH for his eye test. Hmm... Hospital , is that where i'm going to work in the future? Dr Dann? Hmmm... Cool uhs? Anyway after that i went to the Gym alone. Hahaha! Most of my friends are working or either that they are plain lazy. =P Then after gyming i went to City Hall to the Matrep place. LOL! No lar i went to peninsular plaza underground. Bought this Mat rep shirt. LOL! I hate stereotypes man about me. ahaha About others i don't care la. Yah then i eat beef fried rice there. So many changes there. It's been a long time since i step in to that Matrep world.
Oh yea my feet is itchy man! Feel like running and kick kick kick ball!!! Can't wait for saturday! Hope the gate's open
.never back down.
8:23 PM
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/ Monday, February 8, 2010
Played soccer in the morning! Hahaha! Everyone was almost an hour late. Cool! Maybe because the night before there was a game on Chelsea and Arsenal. It was an awesome match. Chelsea 2 - Arsenal 0. Damn! Chelsea is back at the top of the table. I think today i played better than usual. Scored more than 6 goals. I lost count. Was super tired at the end of the game. Played my heart out.
Anyway went to eat with Arif and mom. His mom treat me drink and food. So kind of her. Thank you so much. Anyway went out to suntec city. Damn it's a super big place. I look so small. Hahaha! Farhan and Arif succesfully got a job at Carefoure. I want work but feeling lazy. After that me and Arif went shopping. Bought 2 shirts that cost $15 in total. It was a sale.
Hmm... Oh yah not to mention the weather is blazing , scorching , infernal hot! Was sweating all the way. AArrhh yes my flu too came back. Maybe too dusty or i'm too tired. Can't wait for this Saturday soccer training. I feel like buying an Adidas boot because my shooting and kicking of the ball is better with an Adidas shoe.
Alright my plan is after i send my Grandpa to the Hospital , i want to go to the Gym. No matter what must go! Must Train!
.never back down.
10:42 PM
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/ Saturday, February 6, 2010
You know what. I have decided to leave it all to god. I'm not giving up but maybe I'm just tired of chasing. I just want the best and only god knows who. I'm leaving it all to god. I hope I'll find her soon.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.never back down.
8:11 PM
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/ Friday, February 5, 2010
Tonight i'm going for a BBQ at the mosque. Today after my friday prayers , i'm going to the gym. I need to burn my spirit while it last. I'm on fire. Haha If you know what i mean.
I can't wait for tomorrow's soccer practice. I can't wait to run run run! Want to unleash my thing. I don't know. I feel kind of weird lately. SInce yesterday i guess. There's this feeling in me which is so determine. I don't know. ahaha!
.never back down.
11:07 AM
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/ Thursday, February 4, 2010
Nowadays i so hot tempered! What's wrong with me? Cool down... I was able to control my anger. Maybe everything around me happens so sudden and not the way i expect them to be. Everyone's changing.
This saturday! I can't wait! I want to run run run!!! but my leg hasn't fully recovered. Sigh
.never back down.
8:45 PM
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/ Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Damn i'm hyperventilating! I think i too stress sey. My bronchitis getting worst i guess. Nowadays very difficult to breathe. Doctor says stress is one of the cause that makes my sickness worst. Stay calm dann... breathe slowly relax
Anyway i felt kind of happy chatting with her. SOmehow i'm happy to if see's happy. I mean i just want her to be happy i guess. She's my soul , my world , my life.
.never back down.
11:15 PM
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FUCK U LA DAD! Irritating sak! ISSSHHH! !!! AFFEcTING MY LIFE LA ALL THIS PROBLEM! I'm tired of living already
.never back down.
9:32 PM
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Yes you're right. I'm a monster. I'm a monster in disguise alright! I'm a monster who's trying to cage this beast within me. I seriously don't know why i'm born this way. I know there's something in me that not much people see now. Sigh the truth is no one really understands me. Nevermind no point babbling. No one's reading. No one care. My friends are all gone. They have their own life now.
It's been a long time since 8 march 2009. The day where i felt like i lost everything. It's hard gaining everything back. Step by step slowly i recover but even though scars are left on my heart. Too many scars now. It's been a year since i broke up with her and still i haven't move on! Tsk! I can get rid of her in my heart! Arrhh! Why is there tears falling down!
If i said i was okay. I was lying. Every dream i had about you was a nightmare when i woke up because it makes me feel that i was really with you. It gives me the feeling of that false hope. I'm seriously still LOVE YOU! TRULY LOVE YOU! D: If only you could see what's in my heart. Please come back...
.never back down.
7:36 PM
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ARRRGHH I'm so fucking frustrated and sad! DISSAPOINTED! CIBAI ARRHHH!
Usually i pick up my guitar and strum some random chords , sing out what's i feel or in my heart but today i don't have the mood to sing. Just strum and strum but no melody. Seriously what are friends for man! Got new friends like this already. SIAL LA!!! Why am i so angry sey! Tsk! I'm like a volcano which has not erupt for a very very long time sey. I'll leave it to god.
.never back down.
11:43 AM
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Today is really one of my worst days ever. Early in the morning woke up at 8am. Mom starts to nag about eating breakfast and clothes didn't keep in closet. Very irritating sia! I really hate when people insist me to do things. They can tell me once and I'll do it! I really hate it. So what I've got an attitude. It runs in the family!
I went for breakfast outside alone. I really don't feel like eating at that point of time. Sigh I was so frustrated! Early morning nag nag! Arrrhh! Can shut up!!!
In the afternoon went to colect pay. It's not much though but who cares. At least I can run away from my stupid job. This is the worst job ever man. I hate the fucking boss! I simply hate her man. - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
.never back down.
12:13 AM
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/ Monday, February 1, 2010
Today was great! In the morning , me and family went for religious class. Then after that went for BRUNCH ( Breakfast + Lunch ). Syazz extra join us. LOL! Anyway the plan in the afternoon was that to watch movie but end up everyone got something on last minute. I accidentally fell asleep for Syazz to reply me the timing. End up he's the only one at Lakeside MRT waiting for us. WAH First time early sey that guy. Hahahaha! But anyway he arived at 3pm. I woke up at 4.30pm because of my hp vibrating and he kept calling my home.
Eventually i went to meet him to have my late lunch. Was damn hungry when i woke up. Anyway after that called Sharizal to hang out with us for awhile. Hisyam was with him so he also join us too. Hahaha Old school man. Hanged out at the playground outside Shuqun pri. It was memories. Had loads of fun talking crap and recalling about the past. It was hilarious.
Anyway at night around 9pm , Satria , Syazz and me went to Jurong Lake Park to 'Photoshoot' but end up we take shots of landscape. We had conversations about our ex and lovers. I mean it's like we kind of let go of our feelings for awhile. There were loads of couples there so it's like we're not the only one.
I seriously miss her when talking about her. I felt like crying sey recalling and sharing my exprience with RAB with my frenz. Somehow i still do care about her although i kept scolding her and all that but people around me knows that i still have feelings for her even though i deny. It's okay. The real RAB is deep inside my heart. The RAB that i knew. Not the RAB that i don't. She's the best GF i've ever had. ;D
We talk and talk till midnight. Finally our parents called to go home. We went our seperate ways. I had to walk a longer distance as compared to SYazz and Satria. It was scary man to walk in the dark and beside tall trees. Somemore it's like a ghost town because there was no one.
When i got home , i on the TV to watch Man u vs Arsenal! Final Score MAn u 3 Arsenal 1! Great game! GLORY GLORY GLORY MAN U!
Alright update about my recent match against TEAM CHALLENGE FC. 10 - 1! We loss of course. I mean at first my mindset was that it was easy but my other teammates don't think so because they are veteran. Seriously we got trashed by them. I can hear my heartbeat man! We lost to them physically man. I really need to workout my body and my STAMINA! The problem is no matter how much i eat , it's hard for me to grow fat!!!! In the match , i didn't expect that the tempo of my opponent would be so fast man. I can hear my heartbeat for the first time! I mean it's so loud man! It's like it's knocking against my chest or something. I had a muscle cram though during the last 5 mins of the game. Had a bruise on my knee. But i'm fine. Father is joining us for training next week. He somehow wants to keep fit. LOL!
.never back down.
2:07 AM
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