/ Tuesday, June 30, 2009
2 more days to my Malay O level. I'm really nervous. Hope luck is on my side that day. Anyway I start off the day with temperature taking as normal. It was 35.7. Then after taking the temperature , our class went seperate to the crafts class. I had a stomach ache today. Real bad one. I was kind of sleepy today because the night before i slept at around 12am if i'm not wrong.
Today wasn't really bad. Mother tongue lesson was fun. We had so much laughter.
After school , i went to check my position for the o level malay. I was the last candidate for that day. I hope the examiners would be still awake by then and i hope i'll be too. Actually i was suppose to stay back to finish up the maths holiday homework but i didn't , instead i went for DnT. Before that , i heard my friend cried because of me but luckily she's fine now. I'm so glad.
I'm not the kind of person who likes to hurt people even if i have to , i'll feel bad.
Next part of the story , my friends said i change. I know i change but somehow or rather , i want to. Do i? I don't really know. Dhanisha said i seems different. I thought no one notice. Once you made a decission , you must not regret it. How i wish i could turn back time.
.never back down.
8:48 PM
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/ Monday, June 29, 2009
Today is the opening ceremony of the Asian Youth Olympics. We had a torch relay going on and one of our students got to hold it and run. His name was Mazuki. He will be representing Singapore for hockey. Good luck to all the participants! Woots! We went down to the canteen but some of the class just see the event outside the corridor. They were cheering aimlessly at times but it was funny. After the event , we head back to the the workshop to continue on our artefect. Seriously , it's frustrating making products. Once the whole thing is ruin , I have to do it all over again. Damn it!
Today after school , me and some of my friends head for the gym. I wasn't there very long. I was kind of sleepy and furthermore the gym was kind of crowded so it was kind of useless. Anyway i had to went home to finish up my homework. It was kind of a lot for me. I did some during the holidays but i can't finish it because my holiday schedule are fully pack! Didn't really get to enjoy my holidays. So i went home to sleep till 6.30pm to regain my energy.
At night , i did my homework for 2 intensive hours. I need to force and discipline myself to sit on my chair and do my work because usually i'll get distracted by other things. In the end i manage to succeed. I kind of finish my homework around 75%. I had some difficulties in concentrating on my studies. Thought about her frequently pop out in my mind. It's hard but i have to do it. No one else can help me except me , myself. It's hard to forget about her but i really have to do it because she's dead to me. The real one is in my heart always. Sometimes you just have to face the world as the world is not always the way you see it. It's full of unfairness but what to do.
5 mins ago , i chat with Syazrul. He too had the same problem with me. Guess he still have the same feeling as me but seriously , i don't understand her. Day by day , the feeling gets bolder. The feelings never change but at least it's not that painful as before. Me and Syazrul shared alot of things during our conversation. Both of us are trying to stand but it's hard. We tried to force ourselves to like other girls but we know the truth.
Anyway my 'O' level malay oral is on 2nd July. I'm the last candidate for the day. Wish me luck. I'm really nervous whenever i'm taking oral. My knees would just shiver. haha! Anyway my birthday is coming. July 5th! I check out some info on my birthday date. It states that the person born on this date is the type of person who doesn't really share his/her problems to anyone. It's a great honour for whoever get's to hear or share his/her problems because it means the person born on this date treasures you!
.never back down.
9:42 PM
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/ Sunday, June 28, 2009
Oh my god! Tomorrow is the start of term 3 already! Damn la. I don't have much time to enjoy my holidays.
.never back down.
6:43 PM
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/ Thursday, June 25, 2009
In the morning i went to the gym with Arif. After that i head to JP alone coz i'm looking for something. On the way , i met with Guo Hong. What a coincidence. I'm so sick and tired sey.
I don't know what is in my mind. I know there's a lot of things. Yesterday my parents fought about me. Why me?! Seriously they are so freaking childish. Sometimes i wish like running away from home. Home is not the place for me. I rather sleep on the streets where it is more peaceful in the night but the world isn't a safe place. My life around me has become nonsensical. Seriously la. I'm not so devoted ok! For what put in my effort for you guys when all i get in return is scolding and unappreciated work. Hehs! This is the most regretful think i ever did is to join you guys. Leadership hus! fuck off!
.never back down.
2:51 PM
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/ Wednesday, June 24, 2009
today is one of the worst day of my life. I'm feeling sad all of a sudden. I'm so tired today. I think today i'm going to sleep late to finish up my homework and maybe tomorrow morning i'm going GYM and after that maybe heading for JP to buy some stuff for friends for concert.
I really want to pick myself up and move on with my life. JANGAN PANDANG BELAKANG! (don't look back) For what look back tell me? It's not helping at all. It's really useless. I really regreted it. If i know it would happen , i won't do it. Anyway i know it's not my fault so for what scared am i right? I have every right to fight for what is right too right?
Just now combine i really had difficulty breathing. Keep stopping and my breathe wasn't that long. so short. small fry only. Anyway my band will be having a
concert at Victoria Concert Hall on july 11. Timing i think ard 7 like that.. Ticket will be $12 for stall and $15 for circle. My last concert. Anyone want to come can order from me.
.never back down.
6:57 PM
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/ Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Had no remedial today. Last minute cancel. I don't know why. Went to play soccer in the afternoon. I was off form today. After awhile of resting , we went to a shelter near rulang pri. Two policemen came to ask for our ID. It was my second time. After a while , we saw a few indian kids playing soccer , not really kids. Than we suspect they steal our ball so we almost got into a gang fight. Nevermind. You guys won't understand. My right wrist is injured. I don't know what's going on in my mind. Signing off
.never back down.
6:40 PM
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/ Sunday, June 21, 2009
Today went to play soccer in the morning with some of the ex members. I had some bruises , scars and wounds on my leg but it seems nothing to me as in i'm use to the pain. Cool or what?! Ok lame shit! I did my Bio homework on the net. Oh yes! I heard news from Kamal that School will be reopen 2 weeks later from the actual day it's suppose to be open. Oh man! I hope the 'O' level will be also be postpone too. Hmm..I'm really worried about my future. I don't know what is going to happen. Anyway , yesterday was wilfred birthday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WILFRED!
.never back down.
12:20 PM
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/ Friday, June 19, 2009
My first step of my artefect.. looks pathetic.. HAHA!
in progress...
I don't know where to start and how?!!
BIOLOGY PRACTICAL! Nice! I love playing with bunsen burners!!
Almost done! But still got a long way to go..
Naj head can fit in SYAZWAN's Artefect!
The next Dwayne Johnson?!
.never back down.
12:26 AM
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BREAK CAMP! I think this year concert is going to be a great one if all of us put in the effort to put up a good show and i really hope we will because it's my last concert. Kind of sad leaving the band. Going to miss all my friends but at the same time i can't wait to graduate! This band camp i learnt lots of new things. I hope Ms Chan teachings will be with me forever. I learn that differences is what makes people become closer. Anyway ya whatever. I must now focus on my studies.
My pc is so lag! My psp i think spoil! What the hell! So sad! Someone's birthday coming! WILFRED! This SATURDAY! Alright till the next post! Astala vista!
.never back down.
12:19 AM
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/ Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Nothing really happen today. My heart just wants her back badly! I feel like stabbing my heart! I can't help myself really. I know she don't even care now. Not even a single bit. I felt demoralize and i feel like giving up studying. I can't concentrate! My mind can think of two things at a time! and the second thought is her. How can i give up my studies? I'm just not in the mood. Every night , I'm sure going to dream of her. No doubt about it. The dream just makes me feel that i'm still with her but actually it's over. You know how it feels! It's so hard for me to forget bout her. sigh.. I wish for her to come back to my life..
.never back down.
8:55 AM
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/ Monday, June 1, 2009
Today had malay 'o' level. In the morning when i woke up , i was like OMG! TODAY IS THE DAY! My hand was shivering when i'm doing the paper and i my palm is sweating. Paper 1 was easy for me but paper 2! It's the comprehension! The passage was easy to understand just that the question. I'm not sure what's the question asking about. At least i'm not the only one.
Went gym in the afternoon , and that got back to play soccer for awhile with friends. At night i went out to the fun fair near my house with my old friends from my primary school. They are still the the same just taller. I just feel so lonely without someone. I'm not exagerating. It's just that that's what i'm feeling. Anyway talk with my friend. He too had exactly the same story as me. Been dump by our girlfriends but we still love them and now they are ignoring us. Sigh..
.never back down.
8:47 AM
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