Name : Dann Jaffery
School : Singapore Polytechnic
CCA : Muay thai , Mixed Martial Arts , Stage Management Club , Rock Climbing
Birthday : 05.07.93
Height : 1.71 plus minusm
I am worth $10.00 sadly :(

Enjoy the music while you read



This is where i can left my memories , my thoughts and my feelings where no one can stop me.



Amira Arif Anddy Bennie Davina Diyana Eugene FongMay Feeza Fian Farhan Fatin Hidayah Hafiz HuiQi Idayu Joey Jaime JinRong KianHowe Klinton LiHui LiKuang Liyana Lincoln Liza MeiYi Madeline Malcolm Manissa Muhd Mevis Musarrat Nasuha Nafizah Nayven Nasri Nadiah Nicholas PeiShan Patrick PeiSi Ruhana Ron Rahayu Ryan SiewQin Suhaidah Syazrul Shabirah Shafiqah Sharizal Selynn Suhaila Satria WeiKiang Ykid Xinyi XueEr ZhenXin
Heroine
Fight G
FightWorksAsia

January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
July 2010
August 2010
March 2011
April 2011

here's my results:
English - D7 (FUCK!)
Malay - B4 (I know i can do better?)
Maths - B4 (dissapointing)
Science - A2 (Improvement!)
Humanities - D7 (err.. i don't give a shit!)
DnT - B4 (dissapointing)

.never back down.
10:48 AM

>>>
what's the use if you have all the money in this world but there's no one to share it with. I mean what's wrong with my family! They don't even know what i did in school , how am i like in school most of all they don't know anything so stop being a push over. I'm already S I X T E E N! Can i be independant on my own?! You guys think you know me but no one does! DO you ever care what's inside of me is feeling right now? No one cares! All you care is satisfy your needs! Scold! Scold! Scold! That's all you know what to do. I thought you guys would help me to reduce my stress for 'O' Level but no! Sometimes i wish like running away from home to get some peace but i've no where else to go. You know i don't like explaining stuff. So what if my result's drop! It's not you! This is not the end anyway! I'll promise i'll do better for my Os! I hate myself! Why am i dreaming about it everynight! I deserve to be killed hasif. Go ahead and punch me till i bleed to death.

.never back down.
7:29 AM

>>>
Today got back my report book. So dissapointed on myself. How can i loose to noobies in my class?! Maybe it's because of my English!! Just because i didn't do the assignments the teacher gave me. O level is different! I'm going to work hard for it. Anyway the weather is blazing hot! I think i'm catching a fever. Yah and i feel quite sad today. I don't know why.

.never back down.
2:49 PM

>>>
I just got back from jogging. I swear my sweat can fill a 100ml can drink. It looks like i just got out from shower. Anyway i don''t know why i feel this way. I somehow feel like i have a split personality. I can feel angry so sudden and just punch a wall. My mom said that i have a demon inside me. When i was a child , maybe around 4 years old ? I did something. It results on me having high fever for weeks. Doctor can't cure me. One day my grandpa called a religious teacher , he gave me a water which he has do something la. I don't know. I bath with the water and i got well. I don't quite remember what i did. Something to do with spirit. Well i was only a child back then. I just realise , when i fight , it's not me. Somehow it's not. That's why i don't fight. Nevermind. You'll just think i'm crazy.

.never back down.
9:03 PM

>>>
First and for most! Barcelona 2 - Manchester United 0. Haha! Actually both teams are my favourite! Hmnmm.. The sec 3 ad 2s are back. If not the school will be a haunted school without them because it's so lonely. Today as usual , Malay intensive is a bore. Anyway i got shock that I've got 74% for my physics. My eng prelim oral for yesterday scored 27/40. Hmm.. Good try? I mean i will do better for my 'O' level. Farhan got 36/40! He was the 1st in class for oral. Today had nothing interesting happen in my life. After school went for DnT. I didn't really progress that fast as usual because i still got materials that have not arrive. Monday's coming! Wish me luck! Anyway tmr i will get my report book! Hope i see some improvements.

My breathing difficulty is back. Oh yes! My arm still not recovered. I think i want to rest for a while now. I'm planning to go jogging at night.

.never back down.
6:07 PM

>>>
This week is really boring! Maybe because of the malay intensive programme and partially there's no sec 3 to accompany during recess. It's really boring. Today had English prelim oral after school. I don't know if i did well. Tomorrow need to NE quiz. Arhhh! So boring sey. Went to the gym this afternoon after the oral. The weather was scorching hot! I can barely feel my legs? Lols.. Oh yes! Talk about my injured hand now. I don't know when it will recover. I tried to endure and ignore the pain. It's really painful. Anyway! Swine flu has reach Singapore! Oh my god! I'm so scared to go out now. O levels coming. Maybe it will be postponed! Hahaha! I really can't wait to graduate from my school! I mean i can't wait for poly life! Hope i pass my GCE 'O' levels with flying colours. Good luck my mates!

.never back down.
9:32 PM

>>>
phew! This week is going to be a rough one for me. The first six periods would be malay intensive all the way and it's the combine with 5N1. It's a new experience. It was quiet in class at first but we got the flow after a while. Started to laugh around. I just realise that Mdm Siti is the next sacrastic teacher. Hahakz! Today after school had DnT Coursework to until thursday. There's so much thing to do. I'm kind of afraid if i might i cock up in my making my product. There will be so many people in the workshop. It's going to be havoc party! Die! I'm still not in the o level mood. How could i!? Come on! It's the last lap! Tomorrow the last two periods , the sec 4s will be having a talk on stress management. I hope it's useful. I just can't sleep tonight. Tomorrow will be a long day again. I tried to be happy today. At least for a moment there. It's ok? You'll always be in my heart! =)

.never back down.
10:19 PM

>>>
Lately i've been not getting enough sleep. I just don't know why. I will always wake up in the middle of the night. Let's not repeat it. Life is never fair. They just won't give you second chance that is why i still treasure... Anyway what is that pain in my left foream! I can't do much with it. Can't bend it , can't hold on to heavy things that much.. I don't know what's wrong with it. I want to recover fast! Anyway O level malay is just around the corner. I didn't expect to be so fast. I really hope i do well and i hope that i will be able to get back concentration on studies. My mind has been hay wired for a moment after the incident. I'm still down as usual. At least my friends notice about it. Thanks guys!

.never back down.
6:24 PM

>>>
i had been gazing in the blank space most of the time these days. I'm just trying to catch my breathe. My breathing difficulty has return. It's so hard for me to breathe. I can choke anytime and die. I'm so sad today. Many things happened lately. I can't feel my heart , all i can feel is hatred to myself. I don't care about me no more. I just want... Nevermind. I feel so weak. I can't even hold a plastic spoon properly in my hands. I need some space for myself. Can i still go on? I can't break my promise? I feel so irresponsible if i do. Do i care? I just can't go against my nature. I've been so sad lately. My maths result drop from A1 to B4. I'm so dissapointed on myself. My heart is broken and i can't afford to break my spirit can i. Sometimes i would just close my eyes and tries to clear my mind but i simply can't. I feel so lonely. No one to be with , no one to run to , no one to talk to , no love. Have you ever lost your love one?

.never back down.
10:08 PM

>>>
i hate myself. Family? They don't even care. They only make things more worst. I'm not a kid anymore ok! I want to be independent and what's wrong with that?! And that's just me! You have to accept for who i am. Stop controlling my life. Who are you anyway?! Your dog uhs? I hate myself. I'm so useless. I can never get her back! And i'm so weak! Arghh!! Am i?? They understand but they can't do a thing about it. I'm so weakk!!! Get out!

.never back down.
7:55 PM

>>>
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KAI JUN , AZIMAH AND TIAN TONG!


I'm still working on my song. I believe in happy endings. Arif said that Heroes always have happy endings.. I just have to believe. Waiting in the shadows..

.never back down.
5:37 PM

>>>
I found out a terrible truth. I can't seems to go band. It's really useless. I don't have the mood to play. It's just not the same but still.. I'm so sad right now. My heart froze when i read her blog. Now i really feel super duper heartbroken. I really felt a hole in my heart at that very moment. My hand was shivering. My tears roll down my cheeks.

I'm sorry mom.. I just can't make her happy right now. I feel so lifeless. No one cares anyway. I'm sure there will be no one reading my blog. God sent me an angel to heal my heart.. Maybe my angel has flown away. She deserves a better guy than me but everytime i look into her eyes , my heart grows stronger for her. I simply can't resist. I still love her. I do.. And guys , thanks for trying to cheer me up.

My sickness , bronchitis is coming back. It's hard for me to breathe. Really i had hard time breathing. I remembered that emotional can cause my sickness too.

One wish.. I wish she return back my heart.

.never back down.
8:36 PM

>>>
Today played soccer at rulang. I'm so off form today. Maybe because i'm tired. Or maybe there's something in my mind that bugs me. What?!! I knew it! Please keep it. The least you can do after u broke my heart. Don't feel like coming sey tomorrow. Feel so sick right now. Went to grandma house for awhile just now. Arrrrrhhhh!! I'm so moodless rite now. see my face -_-' sigh.. Today's wearther is so hot! Damn Liverpool is coming to singapore to vs Singapore. Confirm singapore loose. Waste money only go stadium watch. My boot is tearing up. I need to buy a new one fast.

.never back down.
4:16 PM

>>>
Finally the exams are over! Ok at least for now. Wow! Today's paper is the most difficult among all my other paper. Confirm my DnT fail. Sigh.. The paper lasted for 2 hours but i end it around 30 mins? Most of us were sleeping. It was really difficult. If i pass , it would be a miracle! Anyway after the papers i head to the gym with friends as usual. There are so many people at the gym today. Why aren't these people working?! Haha!! Tomorrow planned to play soccer. The next big thing uhs? Anyway i got back my psp from mum! Wohooo!! Miss you psp!! lols

Your always there to listenWhen im feeling down
Somone I can turn toFor a smile when I frown.
You always know just what to sayto get me feeling glad
And I in turn help you, my love
when You are feeling sad

We've had our times
when we have not exactly seen eye to eye
And times when I was so upset we almost said good-bye
but i know this much is true, my love
Ill love you forever moreIts taken time,
but nowyou have finally opend up the door
to my heart....

You know my deepest secrets
Stuff Id rather not tell
To anyone but those who know me really well

I cant help but think
That we'll meet face-to-face some day
And untill that day comes, I will wait
And never look awaythe sun is shining bright
And the stars will point the way
soon ill hold you in my arms

We'll be together soon....Someday

.never back down.
8:35 PM

>>>
Yesterday i can't sleep! Today it's kind of hard for me to wake up early in the morning for religious class. Sigh.. Really la nowadays i find it hard to sleep and when finally i got to sleep , i will dream all kinds of dream about her! It just makes my heart screaming for her. Ican't get to sleep because i kept thinking about her.

Anyway yesterday night i went to play soccer with Arif. There was a free kick. I told myself if i score this goal Rabiatul will come back to me one day and guess what? I scored!! So this means Rabiatul will come back rite?? I hope so.. Sigh..


Anyway in the evening today , i went to the JW gym with dad as usual. Then head for JP for a while because he wanted to buy something. I went to the sony erricsson shop to look around. There are so many cool stuff there and they are so expensive. haha!

.never back down.
1:29 PM

>>>

.never back down.
4:40 PM

>>>
Finally Stress is over? Not really. I still have one more paper to go which is DnT. Today after my paper , i went to the gym alone because everyone else was busy. Arif had to change his plans because his mom is sick. June 19 , Outcry is having a gig at LIVING ROOM i think. Ticket cost $10.00. Give your support guys! Anyway Outcry consist of (Farhan , Hafiz , Alim , Faris and Arif) Go on youtube and search for them to listen to their songs. Not bad at all. Today at the gym , i saw this couple, they are so sweet together. It just reminds me of someone. Nevermind. I hope she do well in her exams. Anyway Farhan went for counciling. He wanted to ask Ms Sarinah on how to tackle girls. I ask him to share with me the tips so that i can get her back.. I mean.. I don't know. I still have feelings for her. It's okay maybe she wants to enjoy her secondary school life? I'll be waiting in the shadow ok? Just find me..

Anyway my grandpa was admitted to hospital two days ago. I didn't went to visit him only my dad because at that moment the time was almost 1pm and the next day i'm schooling so yea. I hope he's fine by now.



My eyes filled with tears
as i watch you retreating back
i've turn away
but i've no one to run to
because that person
is always you

i'm so heartbroken
i'm heartbroken over you
you make me cry
you make me weak
and i only wish
you could see me now

so please come back to me?
i'll be waiting for you
the same place
my heart...

At 3pm , i played soccer. It was fun playing in the rain and i think i played good! Haha! There's some funny moments! Hahaha! It was just fun!! I love it!

At night my mom didn't cook but she wanted to magee mee but i don't want to it coz to me it's not filling so i went down to Makanshiok with Sharizal . He brought his cousin and Diyanti , my other friend. It's been awhile since i've hang out with them. I bought Nasi Goreng Kebab. It was a lot! My friend was shock that i finish the whole plate. I said i wanted to gain weight but seriously my metabolism rate is low because even though i ate a lot , i'm still thin. -_-

.never back down.
12:02 PM

>>>

.never back down.
3:28 PM

>>>

.never back down.
3:48 PM

>>>
Today's maths paper was kind of easy but at the same time i'm not really sure if i can get my target which is A1. I finish paper kind of 30 mins before the end of the actual timing. I check again and again for mistakes and counted the marks for the questions that i'm very confident that i will get correct. Eventually the total score i would get is obviously a passing mark but still i cannot have high hopes because sometimes things just don't go according to what you expect.

Hmm.. After the history paper , all of us had to wait for the Literature students to finish their papers as they had extra 15 mins. Me and Eugene were talking shit as usual. Mrs Poh ask me to join the NSW maths competition which at first i reject because i said to her to give chance to other people at the same time i also don't want because it was lame shit. But Mrs Poh convince me that it's my last year so i took it. Hmm.. Tmr's paper is physics and english paper 2. Well good luck guys!

.never back down.
3:08 PM

>>>
What i fainted just now?!! I tot i was sitting down somewhere.. I felt so tired. I decided to starve myself no wonder i fainted.

.never back down.
5:32 PM

>>>
ARRRRHHH!!!! I HATE HATE HATE YOU!!! Whoever you arh?!!! I can't believe i'm crying.. ='( i want my rab baaaaaaaackkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

Sob.. I don't care anymore if i were to fail my exams or whatever already sey.. What did i do wrong to her? How could she leave me? I need an amnesia right now.. Plz god.. I feel so lonely since she's gone =( I feel so cold in my heart. It feels that life has no meaning for me anymore.. What am i feeling right now? I'm so confuse.. I really do.. It's just not the same.. Everytime i tried to think of something else , i end up thinking of her.. Then tears started to roll down my cheeks..

Today i went to the library with my classmates.. They were not actually studying but actually making noise. Only Musfirah and me were the one concentrating and trying to study but Musfirah went off to JP for a moment so i was the only who is really studying. Some how it's hard for me to absorb all the physics stuff. Sigh.. Maybe I have something in my mind. On the way home , I took the bus. I can't believe that i'm crying again in the bus. I'm really really hurt.. Can someone give me the cure? I need it fast or i'm dying.

I went to JP just now. I met Radyiatul and hafiz along the way. Sigh but i went my seperate ways because i need to go somewhere else. Walking around JP juz reminds me the past. I was so afraid.. How i wish i could turn back the clock. Sob

WHY IS IT OVER? I promise her yesterday that I won't enter her life anymore starting from yesterday. Of course I don't want to but i just want her to be happy. I know she's not thinking of me anymore.. Who am i? I'm just an obstruct to her. She has better friends. I don't deserve to be one of them. Someone kill me please! I can't endure this pain anymore...

.never back down.
3:50 PM

>>>
FUCK YOU BITCH!!! I went to the saloon which is the cheap one!! Cibai! I ask her not to cut my hair short still cut!! CIBAI LA BITCH!!!

.never back down.
3:48 PM

>>>
plans to do:
-vacuum the house (checked)
-wash school shoe (checked)
-study history (checked)
-sudy physics (checked)
-workout in the gym (checked)
-practice my martial arts (checked)
-go grandparents house (checked)

Today's weather is very nice in the morning. A new day , a new life. I want to thank Manissa for lending me a listening ear! Alright there's absolutely nothing going on between us ok so don't think something that is not real. Anyway i didn't go for religious class today. So sad. I've been learning about differents martial arts in the web lately. I was thinking of taking up wushu but i don't have the time you see. Maybe after o level. Oh yes! I almost forgot that today is mother's day!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHER'S OUT THERE!!!

sadly i didn't bought anything for my mom. I'm really bad at choosing presents or maybe i'm jut afraid that the person might not like it. So i usually bought choclates. Everyone loves choclates right? =D

next part of my life continues... I still thinks about her. I know it's not worth it! She doesn't care anyway. You know how i feel? I feel i'm cheated by you. Have you ever felt cheated? It hurts ok. I just want to heal fast and move on. It takes time i know. Lately , i've been punching and kicking my wall in my room. I just want to let out my anger. I don't care about the pain , it's nothing to me anymore. I just want to grow stronger. I feel like shouting out all my pain within me sometimes but i kept it for a greater useful use. My power is my vengeance at the same time my weakness.

Exams is just around the corner. I'm so afraid of facing the exams. It's my final year. All the topics have been gone through. There are so many things i need to know. I don't know if i can take it. Just hope i can take it.

.never back down.
10:20 AM

>>>
I just broke my relationship with Rabiatul today. Well she ask for it. She said that she's loosing her love for me. I was so sad at that moment. Really it was out of the sudden. We didn't had any quarrel or fights that would lead to us breaking up. It's really hard for me to stand back up on my two feet now. I'm still in a healing process. I don't want to look back about the past because it's really useless. It will just makes me more worst. The more i'm trying to forget about her , the more her memories came to me. It hurts so badly. I felt so alone , felt something's missing from my life. I hope i can recover fast and not affect my studies.

Today i went to visit my grandmother from my father's side. I was very happy to see my grandparents! My sister made them smile and i was very very happy to see them smile. It's not like they are going to live forever right? They just healed my heart only for a while but it's ok. At the end of the day when we are about to leave , i hug my grandparents as usual but this time is different. I swore i hug my grandmother quite long and i swore that she cried. I tried not to cry because i don't want to show her that i'm actually sad inside. I miss them so much!

.never back down.
10:03 AM

>>>
tonight i played soccer. When i reached the court , i was like fuck up because most of my opponent team was the gangster type and they played like fucker. I think it's a mix of kick boxing and soccer! Luckily i was in the mood.. If not they would get it from me. Seriously la.. I know it's just a sport but they are not playing soccer , it's more like kick boxing!

Anyway on the way home , I think about myself. I can be really strong at times , usually when i'm angry. As you can see , i'm not the angry type. I hate people stepping over me just because i don't bully people like those gays! For me gangsters are gays coz they need gang to stand strong together if not they are weak as a individual.

When i'm bad , i'm really bad you know which i don't want to that's why i'm being nice to you people which leads to people stepping over me. Sigh.. But really , last time i really could'nt control my anger. I once beat a gangster coz of my gangster which i injure him. I was really sad after the incident coz it's like if i beat people , i feel so wrong even it's not my fault you know. This is why i don't want to fight coz it hurts my enemy more than me..

Anyway something bad happen which i'm really dissapointed.. I can't tell you guys..

.never back down.
9:50 PM

>>>

.never back down.
7:43 AM

>>>
HAPPY BIRTHDAY RABIATUL!

.never back down.
7:42 AM

>>>